04/26/2022

The last post I made about state testing is true but I feel I should write something in the mean time to keep my mind afloat, things have been a mess recently and I'm not sure how to get it out of my system outside of this blog, now I'm not gonna rant about my problems here as most of it is personal and that's just not really interesting to read, in my eyes at least. On top of it just being helpful for me to be in the right headspace for once, it's been a chaotic mess for the past few days, and life in general. This blog really has kept me level headed more than anything else and I'm incredibly thankful for that as it's genuinely helps to have some type of semi-diary to keep up with and force myself to write for (for which I don't mind, I love writing this type of stuff). My mind is coming at a blank sorry, I'm laying in bed as I type this so I'm trying to find a comfortable position to write at and I haven't been able to get a good one but I think that's common for a position to even sleep in at least. Maybe getting up would help. Let me try that. Yeah, that helps a lot, not surprising. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, life, that's a thing. Have you guys ever felt like nothing? Like not in a negatory sense but just in general, it's been running through my mind a lot today, moreso than it usually has before, it's the only thing I can think about right now and I want it to stop, it's not helping anyone in the long run, especially me who's affected the most by it mentally (to my knowledge at least). I have a belief it's because in general I seem to be a negative person, which would make sense, I do live in a negative area (city wise) and I don't fit any of the norms here so that certainly an option, or at least some point of reference to why I'm acting this way, and thinking this stuff. The only other thing that comes to mind would be that in the grand scheme of things, everyone is really nothing, but it's more of what's this life. I'm really tired of repetitiveness, and hate it but as of late that's really all my life has been, boring things that've been repeating over and over again which is boring, which led me to write and start this blog. I'm glad I did I love writing for this thing, but I think I've settled that enough. I've taken precautions today to self improvement, which thank god honestly, been needing it for like, ever now. I deleted Snapchat as I never needed it as I was using it for streaks and at that point it just felt useless to keep the app around, taking up valuable space for other things I would might like to download. Things like apps that can help me with life and stuff I like. I also removed most things on social media that could help me get better, and it's helped. Twitter for me now is my feed, which I like, and my private feed of just k-pop stuff, which I don't think I've ever said this but I really, really like k-pop, it's one of my favorite things in the world. Especially LOONA, they are my absolute favorite in everything they do, they also bring me so much joy too, I kind of need the in order to feel positive about life because of how positive they are. My biases for that group ends up being half of them, which seems like a lot but if you know the group it isn't, in my eyes at least. The biases for LOONA that I have is Jinsoul, Olivia Hye, Chuu, Yves, Hyunjin and HeeJin. All specifically in that order. I could really make a whole entire post about them because of how much I love them but I'll spare you guys (for now at least). Let's talk about something familiar shall we... Hm... Godzilla! Yeah, you know we'll I can't go without a post without mentioning him, and it's clear why. He's just so cool you can't deny his existence. I finally got Godzilla 1984 (also referred to as The Return of Godzilla) in the mail today and I gotta say, I'm pretty happy with it. It's not really a detailed release or anything but it's simple, and to the point, the best way for Godzilla in reality, the one flaw I have is that what's considered extras is just the trailers for other Godzilla films that Kraken Releases use to own the distribution rights for (the company who released the Blu-ray). I've also noticed I have all the films that started each era! Godzilla (1954) starts off the Showa Era, Godzilla 1984 / The Return of Godzilla (1984) started off the Heisei Era, Godzilla 2000 (1999) starts off the Millennium Era... Oh wait fun fact about that movie! After the final film in the Heisei era (which was in 1995), Toho stayed they wouldn't make a Godzilla film until 2005 but the reception of the American Godzilla from 1998 (aptly titled Godzilla) had such a bad reception that Toho came out of retirement to make a new one immediately after. It's no surprise though, the American Godzilla films seem to be, well, not good. Anyways back on topic, the other Godzilla Blu-ray I have is Shin Godzilla (2016) which starts the Reiwei(?) Era, and, fun fact! That's directed by Hideaki Anno, who also made Neon Genesis Evangelion. That's cool to me that the same person who made one of the best animes ever also directed a movie that happens to be in one of my favorite franchises ever. I'm super happy to collect and watch these films though, they're great fun and also just fun to track down what you own and what you don't, what's available, and why you're doing this to begin with. The rights for the first 4 films in the Heisei seem to be in limbo at the moment though, as the Blu-ray for the latter 3 seems to be out of print and cost quite a large amount or some Blu-rays. I think I can find a way to get around that though, definitely not legally but whatever I'll try. I've heard that Janus films, which is Criterion's sister company, picked up the theatrical rights to The Return of Godzilla and Godzilla vs. Biollante which means there's a strong possibility they could be re-released on Blu-ra, which hopefully is under Criterion, considering their releases are top notch and worth it in general. Which I'm hoping is the case because Godzilla vs. Biollante is so much on Blu-ray and for no reason, well there's a few that's very obvious so I won't list them. I didn't watch a Godzilla film tonight unfortunately, there's always tomorrow. I'm feeling pretty good about the rest of the week though, something feels good, I don't know what though but it does. It's getting pretty late in my area so I'm gonna sign off this post, as well as being tired in general. I'll catch you guys in the next one.