04/11/2022

It's been a few days but I'm not gonna lie there hasn't been much going on in the last few days to really write daily over, that's usually how weekends are. Uneventful. I'm outside right now as of riding this and it's genuinely cold as ever, for April that is. I don't have an exact temperature but man believe me my hands are incredibly cold as of typing this. I'm not really used to typing this much, especially when my hands are cold too, I feel stiff. Give me like 15 minutes I'll be back. It took me 2 minutes to come back, sorry, it's a little hard to get back into the mood of writing long form material, such as a blog post so I feel new to this again even though it's only been 2 days, I have Friday off so I don't know how that's gonna be like, hopefully I feel like writing then as I have every single morning. I've been thinking about this blog a lot during the weekend, unsurprisingly. All in a good way mind you, I'm very happy I have this opportunity to basically write about whatever I want to in any way I want to, it's fun knowing I have this ability at my hand with a semi anonymous presence, you don't know how much that helps me. I thought about making a long form blog post about how depressed I am but there's a few problems with that. One, I created this blog to get away from depressing stuff, having an outlet to get away from all the stuff going on and having my own spot to just ramble to myself about what makes me happy, which is just life in general, and the media I consume. Second, I don't care enough to write that much about being sad because admittedly it's me re-writing the same things over and over again, all my episodes tend to be around the same topics too, and I really don't wanna crawl down that hole again just as I'm trying (and successfully) getting out. I don't really see a point. I'll be back again my hands feel numb and it's getting harder to type. I'm back, in the time I was waiting for my hands to not feel like they were getting hypothermia on their own, I came to the realization (although pretty obvious) that I prioritize media more than human relationships. Is that a bad thing? No, not really. I've been trying to find myself for the last year and pining for human connection, to make friends and whatnot but I just realized it's not really my thing, I don't talk to these people now so why should try, it doesn't make sense to me. It goes without saying I am a loner, built definition. I don't have many friends and I stick by the ones I do, it feels like I have like 5 in real life and 2 important ones (apart of the 5) and I'm perfectly okay with that, they bring me happiness I can't really get elsewhere, and I'm content with it, in reality I spend like 90% of my time alone, or on the internet, and those 5 really don't talk to me outside of school. It's arguably fine I really don't care much, as long as I can interact them in person it's fine, so it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I have a class that deals with cameras and editing, my main interests (I can get into a happy rant about cameras, I love them so much), but I don't particularly like the people in that class. I thought I would relate to them and make a few friends but they're all like, stuck up a little, which sucks. They mostly just flat out ignore me or ever include me in anything, it sucks because this is my favorite class and it's just feels like "Hi, hello, I exist, is anybody listening" to no response. Now I live a life on the belief you need people in your life to talk to, which is ironic, I know, but it's nice knowing I have people in my life I can talk to about anything in the world too. I have online friends of course and they're probably the most important people to me, and I mean that with 100% sincerity. They are the best and the only one who knows about my endeavours, and I wanna keep it that way. Jesus, have I gone this long without talking about a movie or piece of literature? Jesus, I really have my priorities straight this morning. I've watched the Uzumaki movie this weekend and it's genuinely great, it's fun visually, although it's not a faithful adaptation, it's probably the most fun I've had watching a piece of media based off of something semi-obscure (something that's common, actually). It's goofy and fun, although it's the complete opposite of the manga, it comes completely recommended, the only thing of note is that it's probably recommended to read the original source material, although it's mostly different, the manga gives you a good guide of what's happening and the progression. The main actress looked vaguely (and I mean vaguely familiar) to Heejin from LOONA, that's not an important detail but thought it was interesting to point out in my k-pop obsessed fueled brain. Speaking of k-pop, I listened to some more Red Velvet, and Jesus, they really are incredible, I listened to some stuff Saturday with a friend and it's just, mind blowing. It all holds up for itself and is just absolutely incredible. Favorites are for sure Ice Cream Cake (that title track is probably the best k-pop song to date) and Really Bad Boy, both are great minis, worth the listen for sure. I'm not really big on talking about music as I am movies or manga, and that's because I just can't find the words why, it'd be "the audio is so good and I love the sounds" over and over again. It's also because I just genuinely don't like music discussion, not that it's bad or anything but I can't bring myself to enjoy it for a second. Music is too popular to write about. I think the main reason that is though is because there's no visual accompaniment, both movies and manga due and I can point out stuff easier, like the writing is weak or it just looks bad, With movies it's much more palpable because there's many key details, acting, the look, writing, audio, and editing, just a whole lot. I can easily express why I don't like Napoleon Dynamite but I can't ever express why I dislike indie rock, no more than just "it's boring and it all sounds the same". It's also because I love those two forms of media a ton and it's easier to just talk about with a passion, as much as I love music I can't bring myself to care about discussing it, maybe it's brainrot, or just me being too invested, I can never tell, nor do I really care. Reading this back, I'm becoming more and more self aware on how much I consume media, but again who doesn't, there's always something going on so you can't get bored with life, and it's just generally fun digging through media of the past because there's just so much to get through, and most of it is really good, but you gotta find that good in the pile of bad, and it's easy to if you just start now. I don't wanna sound preachy so I'll stop talking about it for now. I can't believe it took me this long to get to this specific thing but I also have finished Gyo, I don't remember if I brought this up last post but it's genuinely such a great read, and better that Uzumaki. It's story and it's character are structured better in general and doesn't feel like it's overbearing you, also fish with legs is just cooler than a spiral, a phrase I will take to my grave. Uzumaki had a real problem of decisions happening on the spot in my opinion, and it definitely worked for sure but it feels inconsistent in some places and it threw me off how fast it felt. Gyo is perfectly balanced though, with an engaging story with amazing art that outpasses Uzumaki in every aspect. The graphic detail on the fish that have rotted with the spider feel to the legs, it's genuinely chilling and creepy to look at, imagine one those things crawling up your legs, that'd be completely awful. Ever since I've read Gyo I've been rethinking Uzumaki and honestly my opinion hasn't changed since first read, both are just as great although Gyo is much better (both have it's flaws as I discussed with Uzumaki like 3 sentences ago). There's not much to talk about what happened this weekend in my own life. I missed the college deadline which bums me out but on the other hand I have Friday off and I'd rather spend it at home rather than coming home. Also that's a day I can spend, as no surprise, consuming media. I earn 20 bucks today and probably 50 the next so I'll have 80 bucks on top of easter so probably like 130, which I'm saving up for a laptop, hopefully I don't mess it up and spend all the money as much as I would want to. I've limited my spending a month to 40 bucks which is incredibly easy to spend all of on the Blu-ray front. As much as I love the hobby, and how much it makes me happy, it's so expensive sometimes. I don't really mind it though because most purchases are generally worth it so it's nothing to really fuss about. If it makes me happy why should I stop you know? Unless it's drugs or whatever but I promise you I am not doing drugs I'm just consuming media that makes me happy, I will continue to do so as well. I genuinely don't know what else to talk about this morning, so I'm gonna sign off for now, it makes me feel good I can still write just as much as ever out of a few things. See you guys next post.

P.S. Forgot to mention but I watched Friday over the weekend too, the Ice Cube and Chris Tucker movie. It's genuinely funny and it's great, both people I mentioned do a great job in the movie and is definitely worth the watch.